NEW CAANAN

First full day. Oh my jet lag jet lag jet lag. Enjoying a day driving around the towns of cunneticuite was just awesome learning the landscape the culture, the people. After a bit of extra sleep to try to medicate jet lag. I woke to an amazing day of blue skys warm weather and two amazing people who just want me to have a great time. They have made me feel so at home that I am tempted not to leave and prob would not if it was not for the kids. So keeping that in mind I want to make as many opportunities for return as I can.

So today was a chilled day of exploring, which started with the farmers markets in the centre Of neew caanan. Some Italian guys sell the best pesto I have ever tasted and motsorella and fresh semilonia bread.mmmmm so good. We then proceeded to try and get some money out which proved very unsuccessful. Visiting a couple of bottle shops garages and drug store to find the time out magazine which was also futile. Although there was one success to be had i purchase as some calafornica wine and a bottle of glenfidick 18year old scotch to take home to Stephen.

We have just returned from the next town closer to ny called Stamford, where we had a fantastic tapas meal, and patronized a couple of the local bars and walked passed some Of the local clubs. Finished the day with s couple of baileys and time for bed will hopefully get the body cloak right for a day in china town and little italy. Being sunday i will have Vic and John to remind me of the whole traIn system which is totally awesome of them to think of that for me.

Delayed in transit

Leaving my family, flying to the other side of the world, to i don't know, find myself.  Does there have to be a reason to pack up and leave.  Sure there does, there are other people involved they need to understand, i need to understand.  I have two gorgeous kids which i adore and partner which i love and admire.  But still i need to stretch myself rekindle that little flame and make it a fire.  Looking back i have been living in a bubble my sole focus raising and providing for my kids and building a relationship with stephen which i can be proud of.  If i continue on this path i will combust and i think it is a lot closer than i realise. 

Who am i who do i want to be, what have i learnt from the past.  I am hoping i can have some time to explore these questions, this is the reason for this sudden break in the routine of what we call life. 

Timing of this could not have been more perfect, from the outside it might not seem so, with the recent departure of stephens mother to the next level, business is thriving and two angels at home who will need to have time away from school. So you could possible see the negitives but i refuse to, i see only the benefit to all involved and the amazing learning which will come of this for all.  Freaking out is something which i find hard to over come, i have been focusing on the conscious, bringing from the uncounscious allowing a more vocal voice in my mind to allow events and happening to show me the path i need to travel.

To be inspired to be accepted, by myself.......

The 5th day

Today was a little easier to get through for me but still feeling like something is missing.  I am not sure why it was easier, but a great phone call to start the morning is probably as good a reason as any.  To make things even better, today saw two phone calls from two different and important women in my life.

I had a lovely phone call from a lady whom i would call a mentor.  I met her about 4 years ago and have remained friends ever since.  I speak to her as much as i can which is not very often but as she lives in Brisbane and i on the Sunshine Coast, the distance tends to be an issue.  When i do get down to Brisbane and manage a visit, i always come away with something new i have learnt about myself and life in general. 

I need to pause to see Landan's teacher for a Parent teacher interview,  i think it will be all good news, i hope!

The sun has set

The condolences have been graciously received and the sun has set on a new day. A day with out a mother, mentor, grandmother. There have been tears, laughter and disbelief, yet i have a feeling of peace, she is happy, she is safe, and she will have no more pain. Her family and friends are having a party they are excited to see her it has been too long since she has been with these people.

Yesterday afternoon was just perfect, an amazing clear sky temperate weather and the place we were drawn to was the beach. Sitting on a sheet from the boot of the car, the kids had a sense of freedom. The beach is a place we all recharge by staring out to the horizon and contemplating. Contemplating our past, the present and the future. How has Helyna impacted our lives? We all know the present but the future will lend itself to the individual to grasp new opportunities with new light, thanks Heylna!

The next adventure

The last couple of days have see Stephen and I holding our breath as his beloved mother had lost her battle to cancer and was transitioning to the next adventure in her journey. We saw her go through months of agonizing pain, confusion and disbelief that this could happen to such an amazing person. We have questioned and questioned the events of the last 12months but there are no answers, there are no reasons, it just IS.